This quote resonates deeply with me because, like many of us, I often catch myself lost in the future, constantly prepping, and planning for what’s to come. This wisdom centers me on the belief that ‘making it’ to the next big thing, or thing in general, isn’t the goal. The real magic unfolds in the present moment, in how we embrace each step of the journey. We embrace each step with BOUNDARIES as our compass.
Last night I desperately wanted to get my kids to bed. It was painful how much I wanted that process to be over. However, it was too early, and no one was ready, so we started to play board games. Because I allowed myself to sit and be in the moment, I had a conversation with my daughter that I have been trying to have with her for weeks. I unlocked something that I was trying to understand, that I hadn't had the chance or didn't make the chance for. It was a moment I wouldn't get back if I was in the future.
Let's just start by honoring the fact that being present is really hard, sometimes painful--- but we can do hard things. I was able to do this because, I checked in on my personal boundaries and resourced one near and dear to me and that is connection with my family. I had to do my part in this scenario and slow down to create that environment in which we ended up connecting. Otherwise, that moment would have been lost and potentially would have spiraled into something more pervasive.
Boundaries are such a buzzword, but honestly, they are a puzzle piece that I have found allows me to create that magic we are urging you all to create in your everyday lives!
Recognize Your Inner Critic: Start by acknowledging that you have an inner critic, that nagging voice that often berates you for not doing enough. But here's the first step in taming it—simply identify it for what it is, a critical voice that doesn't define your worth.
Love yourself: There was once a time that I did not know how to love myself, thus projecting to the world that I am not easy to love. I started to imagine myself as a dear friend or one of my children facing a challenging situation. I would identify what words of comfort, love, and encouragement to offer them? Now, a common practice is to turn that kindness inwards. When you make a mistake or when the weight of motherhood feels overwhelming, remind yourself that you're doing your best, and that's not just enough—it's exceptional. Treat yourself with the same tenderness you shower upon others.
Embrace Common Humanity: You're not alone in your struggles. Every mom faces their own set of challenges, doubts, and tough moments. This is part of the shared human experience. Understanding this can help you feel more connected to others and less isolated in your journey.
Mindful Self-Compassion: Combine the power of mindfulness with self-compassion. When the overwhelming wave of motherhood hits you, allow yourself to fully acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Instead of pushing them away, embrace them wholeheartedly.
Create Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries is not about limiting yourself; it's about creating space for what truly matters. Identify your priorities and set realistic limits on your time and energy. By doing so, you create a framework that allows you to be present in the moment without being overwhelmed by future concerns.
These gentle, simple but powerful tactics can be a guiding light in the toughest of moments. It’s about treating yourself with the same warmth, understanding, and support that you would readily extend to a cherished friend or your own child. They may seem straightforward, but it’s a practice we often neglect. The next time your mind races towards the future, try to apply these steps. You’ll find yourself not only at ease but also empowered to experience the movement and motion you’ve been striving for in the two places that truly matter—here and now.
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