As the sun set on another warm August evening, I sat on the porch, watching my children, chase fire flies in the yard, followed quickly by them head over heels in a shouting match about what movie they were going to pick that evening…. Most likely their 10th movie this week, just to add (and no, I don’t have guilt about this!). I am hanging on for dear life over here while holding the tensions of change with a delicate balance so that the weight of these conflicting emotions doesn’t take me under. Transitions like this bring a mix of excitement and anxiety. Summer was winding down, and the structured routine of the school year loomed ahead, bringing both anticipation and stress.
Which camp do you fall into?
I loved this summer, and I don’t want it to end!
This summer was hard, and I can’t wait for school to start back up!
Guess what, I fall into both camps and honestly love the fact that both can be exactly true at the same time! Summer had been a whirlwind of laughter, ice cream cones (LOTS), and sandy toes, but with mid-August approaching, I also feel a mix of excitement and anxiety about the upcoming school year.
On this week's episode, we offer up some insight to embrace the scary while also feeling the joy!
Step 1: Embracing the Transition
Determined to make the most of the remaining summer days, The very first thing I did was look back at all the beautiful memories I DID create with my family this summer. They didn’t always come with boxes and bags as the Grinch would say but they came with exploring life! This helped me to settle into the next chapter coming my way.
I can distinctly remember, one evening, while toasting marshmallows over a backyard campfire, my mind raced with thoughts of school supply shopping, managing schedules, and the endless to-do list. The negative self-talk began to creep in: "I'm not organized enough to handle all of this."
Step 2: Switching Negative Self-Talk to Positive Feedback
I decided to tackle these thoughts head-on. I pulled out a notebook and wrote down my worries. Seeing them on paper made them feel less overwhelming. I took a deep breath and began to reframe my thoughts.
Negative Thought: "I forgot to register my daughter for her first year of school and I'm not organized enough to handle all of this."
Positive Reframe: "My youngest daughter is starting kindergarten this year and we just had the best summer bopping around and living in the moment. I am doing my best to prepare, and I’m making progress every day."
I realized my efforts deserved acknowledgment. Looking back on all the summer activities I had planned gave me confidence. "I am capable and resilient," and I will continue to live into this mantra.
As the days passed, I practiced self-compassion. Everything worked out with getting paperwork in on time. She will have a teacher this fall (phew!) and whenever a negative thought surfaced, I countered it with a positive affirmation. I also celebrated small victories. My ADHD brain wants me to impulsively check everything off the list as fast as I can but this summer it was different. I have taken my time and with each thing checked off, I treated myself to a moment of solitude, "I accomplished a lot today, and it’s okay to rest."
Step 3: Try on the 3 Ps of Psychology
To deepen my understanding and resilience, I recalled the 3 Ps of psychology: Personalization, Permanence, and Pervasiveness. These concepts, introduced by psychologist Martin Seligman, could help me navigate my worries and frame my experiences more positively.
Personalization: I reminded myself not to blame myself for every challenge. Some difficulties, like last-minute school announcements or unexpected expenses, were beyond my control.
Negative Thought: "I'm a bad mom for not being more prepared."
Positive Reframe: "I’m doing my best in a challenging situation."
Permanence: I acknowledged that the hectic transition was temporary. The chaos of back-to-school season wouldn’t last forever. I knew I still had time to get my girl buttoned up in school, even though I had missed the deadline.
Negative Thought: "This stress is never going to end."
Positive Reframe: "This is a temporary phase, and it will pass."
Pervasiveness: I made sure not to let one difficult area of my life affect my entire outlook. I focused on the positive aspects and successes I experienced each day.
Negative Thought: "Everything is falling apart."
Positive Reframe: "There are still many things going well in my life. While I did miss her registration, I filled it with many moments I would never get back. The time was well spent"
Step 4: Making the Most of the Summer
To ease into the upcoming school routine, I gradually started adjusting our schedule. The “Schools out for Summer” sign came off the kitchen dry erase board and on when some choices of chores to get them thinking in this way. Instead of bedtimes inching earlier, we let loose a little and let them stay up a little later for another week. We pretty much kept a nice routine for ourselves this summer but waking up is going to be the tricky part. We will start to gently transition over the next week or 2. I also carved out some "me time." One evening, I lost myself in a novel for an hour while the kids played. These moments of self-care recharged me and kept me grounded.
As the final week of summer approached, my kids and I decided we want to create a scrapbook from the summer, but we don’t have the time to really do it right now. With that said, we are starting a goal, but without a real timeline attached to it. This gives me ease. This will produce a tangible reminder of our summer fun and even getting into the mindset of making it will remind us that the transition to the school year will feel more like a new chapter rather than an abrupt end.
Step 5: Off-Ramping from Summer
We still have a few gems to look forward to this summer and I am sure it won’t all go as planned., and that’s ok because with the strategy of the 3 Ps of psychology in mind, I feel ready to lead my family through the upcoming changes with confidence and grace. I feel proud of how I am embracing the summer and in the right mindset to prepared for the school year. More importantly, I felt equipped to handle the transitions with a positive mindset. Remember, you too are capable and resilient and with that I hope you are also ready to welcome the new season with open arms.
Now, May I offer a pumpkin spice latte to anyone?!
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